4 Simple Strategies to Find Calm Amidst Chaos: A Guide to Managing Overwhelming Emotions

It likely would not come as a surprise to you that one of the highest trending mental health topics today is how to maintain mental wellness in times of uncertainty. We are living in a time of multiple existential threats to our security, livelihood, health, and survival. If you are feeling the weight of those things, you are not alone. Whether you are new or experienced with feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, there are things you can do to support your overall health, even when things feel out of control. In this post, we will look at some common reasons you may be struggling to cope and provide some helpful tips to get you back on track.

The Toll of Chronic Stress on Health

All stress is not created or experienced equally. Some stress in your life can be helpful, if managed well. The caveat, "if managed well" is often where we get off track. Stress is a natural response that creates tension to manage something in our lives. If the tension is left untended to and becomes chronic stress, it can take a toll on you physically and mentally. Below are some indicators you might be overwhelmed by stress:

• Physical Symptoms: headache, fatigue, body aches, rapid or irregular heartbeat, shortness of breath, or stomach problems.

• Mood Changes: increased irritability, anger, crying spells, hopelessness, helplessness, or decreased motivation.

• Cognitive Changes: increased pessimism, racing thoughts, irrational thoughts, difficulty concentrating, diminished problem-solving ability, or indecisiveness.

• Disconnected: isolating from friends and family, problems handling intense emotions, or derealization (feeling as if things are distorted or unreal).

Becoming overwhelmed can happen all at once or develop over time, depending on the type, number, and interval of stressors. Although we cannot always predict or prevent feeling overwhelmed, that feeling can be tended to in a way that builds resilience and supports our physical and mental health.

Coping Strategies to Reduce Feeling Overwhelmed

The following coping strategies are recommended for those already feeling overwhelmed and for those who looking for healthy ways to engage stress before it becomes overwhelming.

Adjust Your Focus

Avoidance is not your friend. Although in the short term it will give you a false sense of relief, avoiding the stressor or the impact of it on your wellbeing will result in the negative effects of the stress being exacerbated. Often when we try to avoid our fears, we get into a vicious cycle that causes us to become reactive. This typically leads to poor or no decision making, impulsivity, and ultimately regret. Then, you guessed it, that pushes more buttons that will continue to keep us reactive, unless we slow down and attend to what we so desperately want to avoid.

If attending to what you feel or need is new to you, seek out resources to learn more about what that looks like, talk with a trusted family member of friend to get perspective, or talk with a professional who can help you gain some insight.

Remain in the Present

You have likely heard the statement, "depression is caused by focusing on the past and anxiety is focusing on the future." Therefore, a key to maintaining mental wellness is remaining in the present. Mindfulness is a state of being that is achieved by focusing on the present, while accepting one's thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations. In Shauna Shapiro's book, Rewire Your Mind: Discover the Science + Practice of Mindfulness, she says "Mindfulness isn't just about paying attention. It is about how we pay attention."(Shapiro, 2020, p. 9). She describes three essentials of mindfulness:

• Intention: how we use our heart as our compass, directing and reflecting our most valued hopes and values.

• Attention: training and grounding our mind in the present moment.

• Attitude: paying attention with an attitude of compassion and curiosity.

The scientific evidence that supports the practice of mindfulness suggests it changes activity in parts of the brain that are responsible for emotion regulation and attention. Therefore, it lowers the response to stress and positively impacts overall health and wellness.

Implement Healthy Boundaries

Dr. Henry Cloud says "boundaries define us." They establish where one begins and another ends. By effectively defining your yard, boundaries are reminders of that for which you are responsible and have control. Implementing the strategies in this post will help you make intentional decisions that will determine what you let in and what you push out. Still unsure what this might look like? Here are some tips for creating healthy boundaries with yourself:

• Recognize Your Value: your value and worth are not determined by what you do or don't do for others. You are infinitely valuable and worthy of care. When you start to recognize your value, you will appreciate how essential boundaries are to maintaining your wellness.

• Identify Your Limits: you are the only one who knows you the way you do. Therefore, you are the subject matter expert responsible for identifying your limits and enforcing them. We often think limits are only necessary in the context of relationship. Although that is true, limit setting begins within yourself. You only have a finite amount of resources, setting limits allows you to be intentional with how you use them.

• Be Your Best Advocate: this can be difficult for some, especially those who learned their worth is based on making others happy. For those people, it can feel selfish to advocate and care for their needs. Caring for your needs does not diminish or harm anyone else. Instead, it allows you to personally recharge without depleting someone else.

There is No Shame in Seeking Help

The fact that you hung in to this point says something. Maybe you recognize yourself in this post and are ready for something different? Or, maybe some of the information here is foreign to you and you would like to learn more? Or...maybe... you are one of those people who like to read the ending before the beginning. If so, welcome to the post. I am glad you are here!

In all seriousness, your health and wellness are infinitely important. This was reinforced in a sign I saw earlier today: "This Is Not Your Practice Life." Be intentional about taking care of yourself because you get one shot and you are so worth it!

Take Good Care!

References:

• Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992). Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life. Zondervan.

• Shapiro, S. L. (2020). Rewire your mind: Discover the science + practice of mindfulness. London: Aster.